Arguing In My Head

Posted February 7, 2018

Filed under Insights, Musings, Simple Tips

Greetings Dear One,

Have you ever been having a powerful argument, explaining your side, being absolutely right… I mean you are absolutely winning this battle… But, it was a completely one-sided conversation– the person you were arguing with wasn’t even there.

Our brains developed from ancestors who were survivors: they avoided being eaten by sabertooth tigers, they survived wars, they procreated despite unspeakable odds. Whether you call it karma or genetics (aren’t they one and the same) we are the descendents of these amazing individuals.

When our ancestors prevailed over their adversaries, it was beneficial for them to be able to tell their story around the campfire. Imagine how helpful it was to explain how to increase someone’s chances of survival in a dangerous and primal world.

Our minds still like to tell a story. Whether it about a car accident we had that we have to share on social media; or, it’s rehashing past grievances–even if only in our head.

Perhaps you’ve heard of autobiographical memory. It sounds like an amazing super power. Paradoxically, several scholarly articles explain this nearly perfect recall makes it more difficult for people to let go of the past.

Often, we believe if we reflect on our past we will garner a bit of information, we will make some more sense of… it–whatever “it” is. In some cases this is true; however, for most of us rumination isn’t helpful.

As much as our mind has a habit (samskara) of time-travelling nostaligically into the past and anxiously into the future, our life is happening now. This is the essence of mindfulness.

“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

Mark Twain

However, being mindful doesn’t mean always attending to the world out there. It’s a flexible attention, shifting outward and inward appropriately. This skill is garnered with meditation.

When we meditate regularly, we begin to observe our mind a bit more as if it were in front of all, the yogi’s describe this as being the witness. Then we can see our mind has a habit of retelling stories when certain triggers are switched. Next thing we know, we check out of our life and are arguing with those who have wronged us.

I am not saying we should allow ourselves to be victimized. However, many of us (myself included) can find that we’re pining for a lost love, wishing a dead perpetrator would come to justice, or hating the first boss who fired us twenty year ago.

Life is happening NOW. Now is all we have.

“You can be right or you can be happy.”

Gerald G. Jampolsky

Now, this is only one article–it’s not the answer for perpetual happiness. Living in the “now” can be an excuse to procrastinate and avoid our obligations. Mindfulness has to be in conjunction with our Values–it is a servant to a Higher purpose.

–That’ll be the next article.

Please, click on the links.

It’s been a while.

Life Happens,

Namaste

My Hungry Little Ghost

Posted July 2, 2017

Filed under Insights, Musings, Simple Tips

Costly Buddha

Greed comes from a belief in lack. It’s autonomic, like its precursor anger, there is some sensitivity in our nervous system to a reflexive belief in lack. It probably came from our ancestors, they had no way of knowing if there would be enough food so we have developed an inclination to hoard and to hang onto things. Also like anger, greed has either a story to tell or us a question to ask us. We’re not getting what we want; or, do we do really believe that we are enough?

The more I witness my emotions, the more I am aware that the spark of anger precedes greed. Anger may be called by numerous names; it’s not always a hot passionate anger. Personally, I experience it as crankiness, impatience, anxiety, irritation, annoyance, frustration, and dissatisfaction.

For example, I may experience irritation that I’m not the most financially prosperous person. Maybe I coveted another’s success. Maybe I compared myself to another. This lead to feeling that I am less than. This inner attack, completely from myself to myself, causes a reflexive defensiveness. Like an autoimmune disorder, my ego’s actually attacking another part of my mind. Paradoxically, there’s a desire to console the bruised angry part of myself with a bright shiny bauble. One aspect is agitated, the other desires to soothe. One time or another this, temporarily, “worked”. The angry part was distracted. But, the newness wears off. The angry part resurfaced demanding gifts: a latte, a new skirt, another degree, it became voracious.

In Chinese Buddhism the Hungry Ghost is a revenant from someone who died traumatically, or has been neglected by their ancestors. In a nutshell, they can be dangerous because they are permanently dissatisfied. They haven’t found peace. However, I think of it as a metaphor for Now. In this life there is often inability to find contentment, or as the yogi say santosha.

As I shared in my previous post, anger should be observed in its natural habitat. In the same spirit, it would behoove us to observe greed. As mentioned, greed is often unaddressed anger. There is an abrasion, an irritation, a tapping finger, a stomping foot buried at various layers. I am not getting what I want! I deserve this thing! Argh!

As my dear teacher says, “witness everything!” Pause, notice when you feel you can’t have enough. It is that easy. You just have to practice. We just choose to ignore and be possessed by the feeling with trying to satisfy it. Ask yourself, “will this bring me peace?” “Will this bring me closer to Joy?” Use whatever term describes yourself when there’s no problem to solve. If the answer is “yes”, I suggest you proceed. No one outside of you can answer this. Watch the urges. They are insidious. They rear their ugly head in a split second. One minute you enjoying a meal at the dinner table then the inner spoiled child wants another piece of cake. It’s stomping its foot. Will it bring you love? You are already the embodiment of love. No piece of cake and add to that.

When You Think You’ve Got “It”…

Posted February 12, 2017

Filed under Insights, Simple Tips

…”It” can be so challenging to not slip into self-judgment. When, you believe you’ve crossed some magical threshold and you can let your spiritual practices take a back burner. Ironically, this may happen even though you may be striving to “improve” your life.

The endeavor of entering seminary has been amazing for me. I’ve developed a deeper understanding and appreciation for an array of the world’s spiritual traditions. But, finding time to do my studies added another layer of busyness.

Next thing I know, old behaviors creep in…

…After a long day the couch and T.V. beckon.

As a mindfulness instructor, I know it’s not the T.V. that’s inherently evil. It’s the diversion instead of relaxation that causes harm.

Diversion is when you don’t make an effort to clear the mind and set down your obligations. Diversion is pleasant; but, it is ephemeral. Relaxation takes effort; but, it is cathartic.

Intrinsic relaxation is a skill. You don’t turn on music. You don’t do more–you subtract. There are an array of exercises for autorelaxation: yoga postures, shavasana, pranayana to name a few.

Paradoxically , it’s recommended to do something more engaging when the mind is busy (or if your newer). Move your mind around and it’ll settle down and focus.

As I share this, I remember a great quote, “put down the book [turn off the T.V, computer, device] and meditate”.

That’s what I’m going to do now.

Small Steps Toward Inner Peace

Posted July 12, 2016

Filed under Simple Tips

baby steps

Part 5: 30 Days of Peace

Why is it difficult to simply sit and meditate?

The practice should not be seen as daunting–it is your right and privilege.

Yet, so many people plan on beginning to meditate for years…

First of all, I speculate, when we sit in the silence uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, memories, and emotions come forward. It can be a stark contrast to the idealized bliss we associate with the image of a meditator on the beach.

In order to meditate successfully, you must develop a different understanding of your how your mind works (you don’t try to stop thinking or suppress the thoughts) you learn to look at them as an experience–consider their transience. In a sense, you have thoughts; but, you are not your thoughts.

The problem is, at the beginning (and maybe for a long time afterwards), you identify with them– I think therefore I am (not)!

If you wanted to learn to speak a new language or learn calligraphy, you start with small steps. Instead of expecting to sit for 30 minutes and experience nirvana, just hang out with your mind. But, do this with a playful attitude– be amused and amazed at your inner workings– 1,2,3 minutes in a quiet room, just watching the stream of thought is amazing.

The other reason people do not meditate is lack of discipline.

I know it sounds judgmental; but, I am speaking from experience. There were many years when I liked the idea of meditation more than I really wanted to do it. It was a great leap forward when I acknowledged that I really would rather do something else. When I was honest with myself I could see there is greater value in getting up a few minutes earlier or turning of the TV and getting off my couch. Believe me, I have to recommit regularly.

If you really want to go further, just begin to work with the breath. Don’t over complicate it, deep breathing, awareness at the diaphragm (below the breastbone, above the navel) 1,2,3 minutes. Just focus on the breath and let the thoughts come… But, you have to get up and do it.

But, if you begin a sincere practice, I can promise the world unfolds to aid you in coming to the Center of Consciousness.

You are what you are looking for… You are the Inner Peace.

There you go, you’re on your way.

Benefits of Mini-Meditation

Posted June 22, 2016

Filed under Musings, Simple Tips

Greetings seeker! While you are on the quest for enlightenment (whatever that means to you), there’s no denying our mundane lives are hectic. In fact, an aspect of mindfulness development is acknowledging busyness–as opposed to denying it. With heightened mindfulness (the practice of paying attention to and seeing clearly whatever is happening in our lives) we develop discernment to determine if our busyness is serving us. We also develop presence; we are able to handle what is put in front of us with grace and intelligence.

Recently, I had to make a choice to cleave one of my activities. My time is short and precious. There was attachment, and as a result disharmony; but, I’m feeling lightened. I made the choice from a place of deeper knowing–an awareness cultivated through meditation.

In the Yoga tradition this intelligence, the decider, is called the Buddhi. Yes, it shares an etymological root with Buddha (also bud); the Buddhi is higher wisdom. Yoga meditation is to wipe the dust of the world off of the decider mirror do it can reflect the truth… So you can see clearly (remember what I defined mindfulness as)!

Meditation bestows numerous other treasures; I call them the fringe benefits. Those are the ones you’ll hear on Good Morning America: lower blood pressure, a healthier brain, and (this is the one they’re really pushing these days) a better sex life.

It’s totally fine if that’s all you want; but, I want the jackpot. The clear lens is just the beginning. It allows the false identities to be set aside so we can experience Union with the Truth–not merely conceptual knowledge. True absorption.

So where does mini-meditation come in? Well, first of all, none of the aforementioned bounty requires retirement to a Himalayan cave. The most important factor is the desire–the desire to attain more awareness, the desire to attain this Union. Once you find that this becomes very important to you portals will open up and draw you in. But, you have to extend your hand. The Center of Consciousness transcends time and space. But, it does require that you routinely regularly endeavor to visit. Five minutes, even less–if you don’t even have one minute then maybe this isn’t the path for you. Believe me I’ve had to ask myself this question repeatedly.

Get up in the morning, and before you begin your tasks, splash a little cold water on your face. Next, sit for three minutes. Move your attention around your physical body. Then, take some deep diaphragmatic breaths. Shift to holding your attention in one space–the bridge between the nostrils is effective for steadying attention. You can repeat this process again at work, in a bathroom stall. Repeat it again before retiring. Nine minutes may change your life.

This is how my practice is at this time. I have two children, I’m a single mother, and I have a full-time job. I sit for three to five minutes in the morning, then I sit for, at least, 10 minutes in the evening. When opportunities arise for longer sittings I take them. I don’t judge myself for my life, I embrace it.

Re-Opening My Eyes

Posted June 20, 2016

Filed under Insights, Musings, Simple Tips

Many students ask me, what is the point of meditation. Well, it is subjective. Yoga (Unity, Mindfulness–the goal of Yoga Meditation or The Himalayan Tradition) is a state of being that I, as an exercise physiologist, compare to fitness. How do you attain fitness? There are many different ways, walking, weight lifting, pilates, etc. But, when done regularly, for some time, this elusive state manifests for us. Also like fitness, Yoga is multi-faceted. One can run daily; but, they are not really fit unless they eat well, too. Similarly, one can meditate regularly and enjoy many states of bliss; but, the Yogi wants life to be the meditation. Witnessing, being fully present, is an exercise which can be done adjunctively and during meditation. Any action, sensation, or thought can be a portal to presence-–simply pausing during a meal. As I am typing I am just pausing to really be aware of my fingers on the keyboard, then contemplating the intricacy of the movement, and the moment it sparks in my brain. There is so much going on; but, we are too busy doing everything else. When you are present to your life it opens up portals for gratitude, savoring, and joy. I originally posted this in Spring of 2015. It resonates with me as much today and then…

One day while walking along the Ganges, my teacher was told, specifically, by his Guru , “Witness Everything“. He knew that Swami Rama did not incline towards repeating himself; so, he grunted to acknowledge that he heard the instruction. But, the sound also signified he needed to digest this morsel a bit longer.

“Witness Everything”, what a specific, yet, elusive instruction. As my teacher paradoxically says, “it is simple; but, not easy.”

Often, during the opening of an asana (yoga posture) class, when we begin to focus on the breath, I remind my students we take about 20,000 breaths a day–but, most of them come and go unconsciously. Yet, it is the most essential of all our bodily functions. If we were forcibly made to stop breathing, for even a few seconds, we would suddenly become very grateful for our lifeline!

Witnessing = Observing + Non-Attachment

Why on earth would we want to cultivate this state of detached observation? Witnessing is the essence of mindfulness–the practice of paying attention to and seeing clearly what is happening in our lives.

If we always act from the perspective of the self, life happens to us–it is very personal and selfish. The person that cuts us off is doing that to us personally. The traffic is affecting us personally. When we begin to witness we are able to “see” the person cutting us off is actually thinking about themselves. Maybe they were rushing to an emergency! We begin to see all of the people stuck in traffic–we may even develop compassion for so many frustrated individuals.

But, on a deeper level, when, in our meditation practice, we bear witness to our thoughts (remember, this is done with non-attachment or non-judgment), we begin to notice the patterns, trends, and colors of our thoughts. We begin, without necessarily having to analyze the source of our tendencies, to have more space from the fluctuations in our mind-field. We begin to see the mind as it is, an infinitely creative tool that is a blessing and a necessity to navigate this earth-plane–instead of seeing the mind as a source of our frustration.

Wake up, or do whatever you will… Swami J

The Driving Dead

Posted January 11, 2016

Filed under Insights, Musings, Simple Tips

1501100007

I have a visceral reaction to rush-hour traffic–it is abhorrent. But, I live in metro-Atlanta, it’s unavoidable. It’s also a great opportunity to test my spiritual practices It’s my own laboratory: I listen to “edutaining” audiobooks, I try to remain present, I avoid judging other drivers, I resist the phone.

The Yoga Sutras suggest five behaviors for a spiritual seeker to cultivate; one of these attitudes is mindfulness (smriti). Which is simply, paying attention to whatever you are paying attention to. It is also seeing that the path is every step you take; not compartmentalizing spiritual life and secular life. I am learning a great deal about myself while I am behind the wheel.

Recently, while wrestling with the traffic juggernaut, one of my greatest teachers abruptly tested me. She wanted me to see if I was grounded in my practices. During a particularly frenetic moment, my five-year-old daughter, Clementine, exclaimed from her booster seat, “I don’t want you to die and leave me alone!”

This was seemingly out of nowhere; yet, in a previous post, I noted our home is in a state of transition. So, the outburst wasn’t entirely unwarranted.

My mind was in a whirl; how do I explain impermanence to a child while, paradoxically, trying not to kill us on the road?

The answer was simple, my practices had prepared me, I surrendered. Yoga practices make you flexible–not as a contortionist. Sadhana is a process of systematically reducing reducing attachments, such as expectations, and attaining a state of pure spontaneity.

So, without being too kerflummoxed, I was in a new role–Teacher Mom. Off went the radio, deep breathing resumed, and a truly beautiful moment ensued. I told Clementine that everything she can see is a cosmic ocean. I explained we are all waves in the ocean. A wave rises and falls; but, is never removed from the ocean. In the same manner, we have not and cannot ever be apart. She continued to be emotional; but, she found comfort in knowing she and I are One.

I offered a prayer of gratitude for my car temple. What a sublime moment of intimacy in the sea of automotive chaos. Every moment is Divine.

All Yogic approaches require the implementation of Discipline and Detachment.

Posted July 23, 2015

Filed under Himalayan Tradition, Insights, Simple Tips

Part 7 of “How Do You Qualify Yoga?”

People think that sadhana–the yogic path–means the day-to-day process. In a way it does, it is what practices you do (meditation, breath work, etc). But, abhyasa is the moment to moment committment to this way of being and living. It’s the cultivation, not obsession, of remembering your committment to reach Yoga. But, all of the work you do has to be done with surrender–if you expect an exact outcome you are living in the world of control. Control is an illusion. There are many factors affecting us at any given time; our karma is coiled and spiraled in ways we cannot imagine. So we do the work, we commit to the path, and we let go. We make mistakes and we try again. Life throws curve balls and we still meditate, contemplate, pray, and offer gratitude. We are not bargaining with the Center of Consciousness– we are trying to connect to it. Although, the irony is, we are never away from it. Let the trials help you remember that every moment is Holy and Divine.

From Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati

Ripples and Tsunamis

Posted July 17, 2015

Filed under Insights, Musings, Quotes, Simple Tips

I saw the quote above on PDAN Teen. The I rememebred, Ma Tri once described thoughts as ripples on the lake of the mind. She went on further to described emotions as Tsunamis. Then she expounded, “Imagine you could harness the energy of a Tsunami. Imagine if you directed that to whatever your life’s goal is”. It left me speechless. I long to crave self-realization with the same fervor as any other Tsunami which has roared through me. Until then, I’ll ride the waves and learn to surf.

Moving towards Mindfulness

Posted July 16, 2015

Filed under Guests, Insights, Musings, Simple Tips

Rena Kilgannon is our first guest blogger of FGTS. Please contact us if you would like to share lesson, personal experiences, meditations, and poetry from dharmic traditions and mindfulness. Thank you for blessing us Rena.

A balance stone in a zen water

When I was a child, my family suffered a significant tragedy. I was eight years old and trying to adjust to our new normal was difficult. One of the experiences I remember is riding in the family car and finding myself going into a deep state of consciousness. I retreated so far back into my mind that it transported me. The experience was so profound; I remember it fifty years later. I also remember being shaken and frightened by this – I had no name for it.

Those who practice mindfulness and meditation, you know exactly what I’m talking about. For many, the ability to move into a quiet and peaceful place in your mind where you can shut out the noise is a great goal to achieve. Since I began my practice nearly one year ago, I am in the beginning stages of understanding what it takes to get there.

In an article published by HuffingtonPost, Mindfulness Meditation Benefits, there are a number of reasons why you might want to consider incorporating mindfulness meditation into your daily life. Here are a few of them:

It lowers stress — literally.
It lets us get to know our true selves.
It could help people with arthritis better handle stress
It changes the brain in a protective way.
It works as the brain’s “volume knob.”
It could help your doctor be better at his/her job.
It makes you a better person.
It could make going through cancer just a little less stressful.
It could help the elderly feel less lonely.
It could make your health care bill a little lower.
It comes in handy during cold season.
It supports your weight-loss goals.
It helps you sleep better.

This practice is new to me as it is for many who have chosen a different path to physical and mental well-being. I was always a runner and reached levels of calmness (runner’s high) through my running routines. In my 30s and 40s, I ran for exercise regularly – from 3-4 mile a few times a week to 10Ks, half-marathons and, eventually full marathons. Like many who run, I ended up with too many injuries and eventually had to give it up.

Then came my 50s when I was diagnosed with a health challenge that forced me into seeking gentler forms of exercise. I tried many: Pilates, tai chi, yoga, strength training, group cycling, and low-impact classes. More injuries sidelined me, but I kept searching.

My search led me to restorative yoga, mindfulness and meditation. I have found this to be instructive, strengthening, and most important, it brings awareness to my practice as a beginner. My yoga and meditation coach, Avril James-Hurt, an experienced exercise physiologist with Piedmont Healthcare in Atlanta explains how to begin a practice in this video:

I have already seen health improvements as a result of this practice. Working mindfulness meditation into my life will always be challenging – and I welcome it for it has truly been the start of a journey to life long well-being and peace.

Rena Kilgannon runs Kilgannon Group, LLC, a small business consulting firm. She ran an advertising agency in Atlanta, Georgia for 25 years before selling her firm in 2012. Her book, What’s the worst that could happen™ is available on Amazon.com or at www.renakilgannon.com.