As a spiritual leader, minister, and teacher, I am struck by how often people will quickly say they are “spiritual but not religious.” While I can understand the desire to avoid being pigeonholed by institutionalized and dogmatic traditions, I also feel there can be a wishy-washy quality to calling oneself spiritual and not having a set practice to support the spiritual claim. I have found that discipline is an essential component of most spiritual practices, but discipline can also be cold and stringent. Ironically, in my own experience, if I don’t stay consistent with my goal of a particular practice schedule, I may swing my pendulum entirely in the opposite direction and almost rebel by not doing any kind of practice. As I considered why I had hit this confusing ‘back and forth’ roadblock, I realized I needed to balance grace and discipline. 

As for grace, I think of it in two forms. The first is Grace with a big ‘G’, (aka Divine Grace) which flows from the center of consciousness to all sentient beings. It is the Grace we might perceive as a guardian angel, and it is the situations and skills present that pull us back into our highest selves. This Grace is constantly flowing; we fall into it when we surrender. The other form is grace with a little ‘g’. It is a microcosmic version of Divine Grace. It shows up as self-compassion for our shortcomings, patience with our inconsistencies, striving, slipping, and beginning again, and discipline is of utmost importance to support that grace from within. When we focus on self-grace, we can temper the edginess of discipline.

To work with discipline, it is essential to have structure. I have been experimenting with ways to create optimal time for gratitude and meditation. Since I am a morning person, I have found that my mood and awareness of the silent stillness within are maintained when I start my day with prayer, meditation, and gratitude. It could be a challenge for me to create a consistent routine since I have an atypical schedule where my morning obligations change from week to week. Rather than allow this to be a roadblock, I have become creative with my morning rituals. I do an abridged practice in the weeks that I have an earlier commitment, and in the weeks when my commitments start later, I do a more extensive practice. Regardless of my circumstances, I begin my day by attuning myself to the highest version of Source. Some days I have to shorten my practice even further, but instead of skipping my practice on those days, I give myself at least two to three minutes to remember my purpose. I also give myself grace for extenuating circumstances such as needing to adjust for children, work, and traffic. Despite these real situations, I do something every day. 

Self-grace acknowledges that I am not a monk; I’m a mother, and I live in the world. However, I don’t allow this to turn into excuses and lapse into behaviors that pull me away from awareness of the Divine. We are in the Divine; we are the Divine. The Divine is constantly pulling to help us realign and connect with that which gets covered by our everyday busyness. In the same way, Divine Grace constantly flows to us, and we can benefit from giving ourselves the same grace that the Divine is always giving us. It’s helpful to lovingly remind ourselves we are doing our best in any given moment, that we will only grow when we choose to attempt consistency in our spiritual work, and that it is ok to start over when we falter. The best results come when spirituality is not merely a hobby but when it becomes a lifestyle.