Grace and Discipline a Two-handed Embrace

Posted February 19, 2025

Filed under Himalayan Tradition, Insights, Musings

This post will also be on the Abundant Earth Coop online zine: https://abundantearthcooperative.com/

It’s so good to be back…

As a spiritual leader, minister, and teacher, I am struck by how often people will quickly say they are “spiritual but not religious.” While I can understand the desire to avoid being pigeonholed by institutionalized and dogmatic traditions, I also feel there can be a wishy-washy quality to calling oneself spiritual and not having a set practice to support the spiritual claim. I have found that discipline is an essential component of most spiritual practices, but discipline can also be cold and stringent. Ironically, in my own experience, if I don’t stay consistent with my goal of a particular practice schedule, I may swing my pendulum entirely in the opposite direction and almost rebel by not doing any kind of practice. As I considered why I had hit this confusing ‘back and forth’ roadblock, I realized I needed to balance grace and discipline.

As for grace, I think of it in two forms. The first is Grace with a big ‘G’, (aka Divine Grace) which flows from the center of consciousness to all sentient beings. It is the Grace we might perceive as a guardian angel, and it is the situations and skills present that pull us back into our highest selves. This Grace is constantly flowing; we fall into it when we surrender. The other form is grace with a little ‘g’. It is a microcosmic version of Divine Grace. It shows up as self-compassion for our shortcomings, patience with our inconsistencies, striving, slipping, and beginning again, and discipline is of utmost importance to support that grace from within. When we focus on self-grace, we can temper the edginess of discipline.

To work with discipline, it is essential to have structure. I have been experimenting with ways to create optimal time for gratitude and meditation. Since I am a morning person, I have found that my mood and awareness of the silent stillness within are maintained when I start my day with prayer, meditation, and gratitude. It could be a challenge for me to create a consistent routine since I have an atypical schedule where my morning obligations change from week to week. Rather than allow this to be a roadblock, I have become creative with my morning rituals. I do an abridged practice in the weeks that I have an earlier commitment, and in the weeks when my commitments start later, I do a more extensive practice. Regardless of my circumstances, I begin my day by attuning myself to the highest version of Source. Some days I have to shorten my practice even further, but instead of skipping my practice on those days, I give myself at least two to three minutes to remember my purpose. I also give myself grace for extenuating circumstances such as needing to adjust for children, work, and traffic. Despite these real situations, I do something every day.

Self-grace acknowledges that I am not a monk; I’m a mother, and I live in the world. However, I don’t allow this to turn into excuses and lapse into behaviors that pull me away from awareness of the Divine. We are in the Divine; we are the Divine. The Divine is constantly pulling to help us realign and connect with that which gets covered by our everyday busyness. In the same way, Divine Grace constantly flows to us, and we can benefit from giving ourselves the same grace that the Divine is always giving us. It’s helpful to lovingly remind ourselves we are doing our best in any given moment, that we will only grow when we choose to attempt consistency in our spiritual work, and that it is ok to start over when we falter. The best results come when spirituality is not merely a hobby but when it becomes a lifestyle.

Arguing In My Head

Posted February 7, 2018

Filed under Insights, Musings, Simple Tips

Greetings Dear One,

Have you ever been having a powerful argument, explaining your side, being absolutely right… I mean you are absolutely winning this battle… But, it was a completely one-sided conversation– the person you were arguing with wasn’t even there.

Our brains developed from ancestors who were survivors: they avoided being eaten by sabertooth tigers, they survived wars, they procreated despite unspeakable odds. Whether you call it karma or genetics (aren’t they one and the same) we are the descendents of these amazing individuals.

When our ancestors prevailed over their adversaries, it was beneficial for them to be able to tell their story around the campfire. Imagine how helpful it was to explain how to increase someone’s chances of survival in a dangerous and primal world.

Our minds still like to tell a story. Whether it about a car accident we had that we have to share on social media; or, it’s rehashing past grievances–even if only in our head.

Perhaps you’ve heard of autobiographical memory. It sounds like an amazing super power. Paradoxically, several scholarly articles explain this nearly perfect recall makes it more difficult for people to let go of the past.

Often, we believe if we reflect on our past we will garner a bit of information, we will make some more sense of… it–whatever “it” is. In some cases this is true; however, for most of us rumination isn’t helpful.

As much as our mind has a habit (samskara) of time-travelling nostaligically into the past and anxiously into the future, our life is happening now. This is the essence of mindfulness.

“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

Mark Twain

However, being mindful doesn’t mean always attending to the world out there. It’s a flexible attention, shifting outward and inward appropriately. This skill is garnered with meditation.

When we meditate regularly, we begin to observe our mind a bit more as if it were in front of all, the yogi’s describe this as being the witness. Then we can see our mind has a habit of retelling stories when certain triggers are switched. Next thing we know, we check out of our life and are arguing with those who have wronged us.

I am not saying we should allow ourselves to be victimized. However, many of us (myself included) can find that we’re pining for a lost love, wishing a dead perpetrator would come to justice, or hating the first boss who fired us twenty year ago.

Life is happening NOW. Now is all we have.

“You can be right or you can be happy.”

Gerald G. Jampolsky

Now, this is only one article–it’s not the answer for perpetual happiness. Living in the “now” can be an excuse to procrastinate and avoid our obligations. Mindfulness has to be in conjunction with our Values–it is a servant to a Higher purpose.

–That’ll be the next article.

Please, click on the links.

It’s been a while.

Life Happens,

Namaste

My Hungry Little Ghost

Posted July 2, 2017

Filed under Insights, Musings, Simple Tips

Costly Buddha

Greed comes from a belief in lack. It’s autonomic, like its precursor anger, there is some sensitivity in our nervous system to a reflexive belief in lack. It probably came from our ancestors, they had no way of knowing if there would be enough food so we have developed an inclination to hoard and to hang onto things. Also like anger, greed has either a story to tell or us a question to ask us. We’re not getting what we want; or, do we do really believe that we are enough?

The more I witness my emotions, the more I am aware that the spark of anger precedes greed. Anger may be called by numerous names; it’s not always a hot passionate anger. Personally, I experience it as crankiness, impatience, anxiety, irritation, annoyance, frustration, and dissatisfaction.

For example, I may experience irritation that I’m not the most financially prosperous person. Maybe I coveted another’s success. Maybe I compared myself to another. This lead to feeling that I am less than. This inner attack, completely from myself to myself, causes a reflexive defensiveness. Like an autoimmune disorder, my ego’s actually attacking another part of my mind. Paradoxically, there’s a desire to console the bruised angry part of myself with a bright shiny bauble. One aspect is agitated, the other desires to soothe. One time or another this, temporarily, “worked”. The angry part was distracted. But, the newness wears off. The angry part resurfaced demanding gifts: a latte, a new skirt, another degree, it became voracious.

In Chinese Buddhism the Hungry Ghost is a revenant from someone who died traumatically, or has been neglected by their ancestors. In a nutshell, they can be dangerous because they are permanently dissatisfied. They haven’t found peace. However, I think of it as a metaphor for Now. In this life there is often inability to find contentment, or as the yogi say santosha.

As I shared in my previous post, anger should be observed in its natural habitat. In the same spirit, it would behoove us to observe greed. As mentioned, greed is often unaddressed anger. There is an abrasion, an irritation, a tapping finger, a stomping foot buried at various layers. I am not getting what I want! I deserve this thing! Argh!

As my dear teacher says, “witness everything!” Pause, notice when you feel you can’t have enough. It is that easy. You just have to practice. We just choose to ignore and be possessed by the feeling with trying to satisfy it. Ask yourself, “will this bring me peace?” “Will this bring me closer to Joy?” Use whatever term describes yourself when there’s no problem to solve. If the answer is “yes”, I suggest you proceed. No one outside of you can answer this. Watch the urges. They are insidious. They rear their ugly head in a split second. One minute you enjoying a meal at the dinner table then the inner spoiled child wants another piece of cake. It’s stomping its foot. Will it bring you love? You are already the embodiment of love. No piece of cake and add to that.

The Angry Baby

Posted June 22, 2017

Filed under Himalayan Tradition, Insights

Image result for angry baby tiger

As a mindfulness instructor, it’s challenging to come up with an “elevator speech” or lesson about anger. Many people come to me seeking to become rid of their anger. This is not the goal of mindfulness training.

Anger is a reflexive emotional response to disappointment and aggression (real or perceived). The yogis explain the powerful emotion springs from the four primitive fountains, which are inherent to all sentient beings: food, sleep, sex, and self-preservation.

Self-preservation is the most powerful urge. It makes sense, there is an inherent drive to keep oneself alive. Eastern Philosophy would argue, many times (especially in the developed world) the reaction is to threats which exist only in our mind. The ego perceives the potential death of one of our many personae.

Physiologically, our amygdala switches on the sympathetic nervous system and our body is flooded with cortical hormones. It’s the classic flight or fight response. This isn’t inherently bad, it serves an important purpose–it’s how our ancestors survived so we can be here to discuss this!

The problem is many of us are overly reactive and every little ego-death causes us to fly off the handle. We’re literally a bunch of raw nerves.

So, shouldn’t we try our best not to feel anger?

The answer is no! Anger is a signal that something is wrong (even if it’s in our imagination). We don’t want to become numb. We need to learn how to feel the emotion without becoming consumed by it. We should learn to react skillfully.

The first step is deciding that we no longer want to be a slave to our emotions. Talk to yourself, connect with what is meaningful to you. Tell yourself when you are you’re possessed by anger that it takes you away from what matters. It puts strain on relationships and impedes connection.

Next, (and you may need to find a teacher to guide you) you practice observing yourself when you’re feeling angry. This isn’t easy and it takes willpower. This is one of the reasons systematic yoga meditation is powerful and effective: during the body scan you methodically move attention throughout your own body. This helps you to develop a sense of actually inhabiting your body–most people are a little disconnected from their amazing human suit. Over time you can use this skill to observe your body when you are feeling angry. Perhaps you feel your chest tighten and your heart rate quicken. This can signal you to use another technique from systematic yoga meditation, deep diaphragmatic breathing. This counteracts the fight or flight response and helps to calm the nervous system.

In deeper stages of meditation you become a witness to the mind in its natural habitat, allowing the thoughts to come and go. This affords the ability to see thoughts and emotions as objects that are inhabiting the mind–they are not the mind itself. In a nutshell, you can observe anger in the mind with awareness it is not the entirety of the mind.

At this level of practice, you create a little space from anger. In that pause, which you develop during meditation, you can choose to act from the anger or to allow the wave of anger to arise in the mind and body and, when it abates, continue with a wise course of action.

Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh explains, “Anger is like a howling baby, suffering and crying… Your anger is your baby. The baby needs his mother to embrace him. You are the mother. Embrace your baby.”

The anger isn’t evil; however, we may do evil while in its clutches. Anger is shakti, the power of creation. However, we can choose to create while blinded with anger or allow the anger to wake us up and enact positive change. The anger can catalyze a course of action fueled by that which brings us closer to our higher self. This is acting from love–this is acting skillfully. But, in order to do this we have to broaden the space between the trigger and the anger–it has to become less reflexive.

Ignoring anger is just as detrimental as continually exploding. The stored up anger has to come out–remember it’s the creative power of the universe. It will manifest either in an H-bomb or in other deviant behaviors.

Rumi lovingly metaphorized emotions as visitors in his oft-quoted seminal work The Guest House:

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Will you pause and listen to the guide or allow it to take over your mind while the Real You watches idly by?

Hangry for Sleep!

Posted February 17, 2017

Filed under Himalayan Tradition, Insights

Alex Grey, “Insomnia”

I was posting the newsletter for the monthly Yoga Nidra practice I help to facilitate. It reminded me of an acronym used in treatment, to describe various triggers which catalyze substance abuse: HALT–hungry, angry, lonely, tired.

The ancient yogis recognized these primal urges, which are identical to those of our animal brethren: self-preservation, sex, food, and sleep. The four primitive fountains.

Self-preservation isn’t merely the urge to protect one’s body from death; it is the urge to protect our numerous personae. Sex isn’t merely the urge to copulate; it’s also driven by loneliness and insecurity. Food is a necessity; but, it’s also a sensual pleasure which can overrun other urges when unchecked. But, today, I want to talk about sleep. A blessing many of us are not partaking of.

In the Himalayan Tradition, there are three primary levels of consciousness (there are more, but brevity is helpful): waking, dreaming, and deep sleep. They are correlated with three states of energy: gross, subtle, and causal (hence, the name of the blog).

Yogis assert that the level of deep sleep in the causal plane is the most cathartic. It is the realm of pure potentiality, the place before the subtle manifestation of dreams. This is intuitive, think about the deepest sleep you’ve had… Right where you feel you’ve vanished for a while. This level is so close to the realm of pure being (or, turiya, the fourth state).

Yet, so many of us are sleep deprived–myself included. We go to bed too late, we have too much caffeine, and there are those darn LED lights. One article I read recently explained, soon lack of sleep will be viewed like smoking. It asserted in the near future, we will realize the detriments: depression, obesity, and cancer. Another NPR story suggest we get out of the city and spend some time in the dark–isn’t it bananas that we need to be reminded of needing dark!

Yoga Nidra is another name for deep sleep in the causal plane. It is also the name of a progressive series of exercises to bring one to that place, while, paradoxically, remaining awake. It is the psychic sleep of the Yogi . This is a tool for developing more than better quality sleep, it is a method for dealing with negative karma. I suggest clicking on the link that I attached above for detailed instructions on this ancient practice.

The causal plane is a womb. It is the realm of rebirth. A cleanse which we have the opportunity to partake in and give ourselves a spiritual reset. Challenge yourself to try the practice for 7 nights in a row (in a dark room without caffeine) and see how you feel.

The Empty Cup

Posted February 10, 2017

Filed under Poetry

Right Now I am an Empty Cup

Fresh and Clean

Right Now I am a Little Child

Joyful and Pristine

Right Now my Heart is in This Space

My Mind is in This Time

Unfolding to Reveal

Truth Blooming Inside

Hold On To Your Love…

There is only Now…

Keep Up The Good Work!

Posted August 1, 2016

Filed under Insights, Musings

It’s the blog’s two-year anniversary. Thank you for sharing the love and light! Mommy dharma has kept me preoccupied; but, all is as it should be!

A tardy Day 11 of 30 Days of Peace (but, I forgive myself)!

One of my spiritual teachers, Rev. Richard Burdick, is a musician. He recently shared that new piano students would focus on the mistakes they made while playing. He explained that he would try to shift their focus to celebrating the dozens of right notes they played instead.

We’ve all been the aforementioned novice musician. We gave a presentation and focused on the one slide we flubbed. We made a beautiful meal and focused on the salty side dish. We were snappy with a loved one and forgot all of the hugs, kisses, and wiped tears. Or, we got distracted from our spiritual practices and labelled ourselves a failure.

An essential component of inner peace is forgiveness. I know it sounds cliché; but, forgiveness begins with ourselves. In several previous posts I note the importance of maintaining regularity in practice, the benefits of small sessions, and not judging yourself harshly if (and when) you slip. The reason these tips are repeated so often is I speak from experience. There are so many opportunities to become distracted from the path of fire and light.

…But, each slippery rock is a stepping stone. One deep breath and you’re back on the tightrope. The important idea to hold is the only reality is this moment. That is what all of the new-agey whoey phooey means by “The Now“!

Whatever you did before is over; whatever you think you may do is not guaranteed. This moment–which appears to move linearly through this imagined construct called time– is really not moving. This moment is Eternity–in experiences of flow, deep connection, and the blissful states of meditation we chip away at its veil.

When you have full awareness in the moment it is the zenith, the ambrosia, heaven on earth. Isn’t attainment worth the effort?

But, even if you find you’re distracted from The Now by the illusory pull of the ephemeral world, it’s right there just waiting for you to wake up enough and let it pull you back in.

I was just there. Were you?